I was on my college bus today when I heard a loud thud. I turned my head and looked at a 18-year old thumping his feet on the floor of the bus. He seemed upset. And angry. And sad. And tortured.
Two guys in the front seat were facing that guy and saying, “it’s okay. don’t get angry. it was for fun”.
I didn’t understand what was happening. And then the guy next to him told, “Those two guys were mocking his stuttering voice”.
Seriously, that guy was in tears. He has a stuttering voice, for heaven knows god is kind(sarcasm? yes).
I let out a deep sigh.
It was one thing to tease people about stupid stuff that they did. And it is another thing to mock and tease someone who is specially-abled. That too mocking that very thing that makes them special? Sick, insensitive and (almost) soulless.
I was angry. I will not add an adjective to let you understand how angry I am at those guys, because there simply is no such word I know of that could quantify my anger.
And I stared at them. I was sitting in the adjacent section of seats on the left, they were laughing.
Laughing. How insensitive one must be to mock someone like that and yet not feel one bit of guilt or remorse, not even when their mockery made an 18 year old boy cry.
I was sad too. It made me sad to think of how people like them continue to trample people emotionally as if it was their daddys’ job to tease, mock they inherited.
I let out a deep sigh again.
I told myself that I wouldn’t let my anger show. That I wouldn’t let my anger make me go shout in their faces that they must reconsider their way of living before growing up in size and masculinity. I remember how I loathed the same two guys a few weeks back when I had to sit next to them on the bus. They were talking crap about women and sex, girlfriends and groping. For all you need to know about me, I am a feminist. Now think what I would have gone through hearing that stuff. I wanted to bang their faces on rock.
But I stayed put. I gulped down everything because no one(family) wants me to get into fights, more so when the enemy is bad. And I am hardly the violent type. I am skinny, tall and unpleasantly always angry, thanks to people like these two guys that I easily spot in every corner of the world I live-in daily. I don’t know what my well wishers assume when they draw lines before me, stopping me from raising my voice against the bad. What it does though is I have to deal with more anger than there already is, that I am not allowed to try to right the wrong. But yeah, I understand their concerns too but nevertheless, I think I must be free to tell someone that he is hurting the world and that he needs to stop.
Anyway, I let go off everything and got down the bus at my place. The fact that this guy who was teased stopped crying and let out an angry growl. That convinced me that he would stay strong through this little but unacceptable ordeal.
I was happy, but not at peace.
None at all.