Sometimes you encounter forces so great and abusive, far beyond what is human and explainable, that you are confused whether you have to accept your imminent defeat or if you have to put all doubts about the reality of comparative strengths, and fight against the perceived injustice, which, for all we know, seems to drag on till the end, the end of either hope, or of breath. Without you knowing, you become a coward by persisting to be brave. Without you realizing, the principles you lived-by form a death trap you are destined to step on. Without you feeling, you become empty of the very emotions that once defined everything for you. Just when you realize you are too tired and cannot fight, the force pushes you down an abyss that you believed cannot go any deeper than where you already are. You are overridden with rage, that even in the moments that you believe are your last ones, the force still expects you to put up a fight. The rage helps you recover some sanity, and strength, and fight a little longer before everything circles back to your waning hope and tiring soul. It is as if the force throws you down a very deep abyss and the only way out is that you, a human, must grow wings to get out of the darkness and gloom. All the poems you wrote about flying don’t really mean anything, unless of course you find someone who makes you believe that you are not actually falling, but flying. Well, that again brings everything to the great and abusive force that snatches your only light, and the whole things repeats till the end, the end of either hope, or breath.
or in any other part of the world except where actually it is right now.
I donno. I thought this was funny, that India is in Asia not in North America or in Europe or in any other part of the world.
This came up into my mind because there is a football tournament called UEFA Champions League, UEFA being Union of European Football Associations, going on in Europe.
Now, this year’s version of the tournament got some murky slur on it. A club from Switzerland made use of some ineligible players in the tournament and the FIFA has ordered the Football Association(FA) of Switzerland to punish the club and players, threatening to neutralize Switzerland FA.
Now, this was some politics.
Politics is now getting into football too, i reflected.
And my head took a sharp turn and landed at INDIAN POLITICS.
And more funnily, my head said, “Thank God, India Is Not In Europe”
Because, i love football and i didn’t want football to be a shi* like our Indian Politics. As simple as that.
Because if India was in Europe, Europe wouldn’t be Europe, i fear.
This is creepy, for all those living in the other parts of the world : INDIA IS IN ASIA, THANK GOD!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE EACH DAY WATCHING POLITICAL CRAP ON TV, AT LEAST YOU GET SOME NICE,CLEAN FOOTBALL.
P.S : I am atheist. And i aimed this at none in person. And if Indians felt offended, i tell you – I Too Am Damn One Of You.
a2-b2 = (a+b)(a-b),
if i can learn this formula with one glimpse of it,
when others take 100-1000 recitations to master it,
and if that is called being gifted,
then damn, i loathe myself,
and i loathe god for doing it to me,
to put me above others,
and to force us into living with it.
but i am proud of my choice. I defy god. If he could only see what i feel about all this, he would never dare to do something like this again.
P.S : This is just one of many such ‘gifted’ things, as they are called, which ruin lives than making them better. And i stand by it as hard as a rock against the sea’s constant threatening tides, just because the rock knows it has not chosen to be on the tide’s path. And if the tide thinks it was the rock’s choice to stand in it’s way, then the tide misunderstood the reality. Or should i say, God let the tide misunderstand the rock or to be exact, the reality. We are fools if we don’t see the truth. I am none who takes pleasure in being gifted. I counter question the simple ‘logic’ of being gifted. Who’s work it is? Who’s work it is to put lives of a few at the mercy of others, by birth that is. Just like this one?
These are questions one can understand only if he
1> is willing to spend time thinking of these ‘trivial’ matters
2> actually implements it
3> is willing to accept what ever truth that is waiting to be found
4> stands by the truth rather than wear a mask that would make his living safe and easy
As for the answers, well! God hid many things, We ourselves hid many things too. So, simply, its not easy.
i agree that pain,love,sadness and happiness are all equal proportions of life,
but damn the unfair proportions, right from birth. not for all though but for a good number and i choose to question the entire being of god for those few. be it people or animals or something else. God needs to answer me, for i talk of those who question him, for every unfair thing he created. I would do my bit to undo it, help the reality. But nevertheless, i won’t loosen the grip on his collar.
If this example was not clear enough, then i will clear the air with this arrow to your heart, Humans!
I am born with all limbs and senses working well,
Many in the world are not so lucky though,
what do u call it?
I am gifted?
Or they are cursed?
By choosing the first one, i did a favor to God. What the favor is? you ask?
You should understand,
being partial by gifting someone is a bit better than
being partial by cursing someone. (though both are a treason god made!)
and all this is naught but pure reality of time if there is no god at all.
I could easily say that it is the second thing, though that is what it really is. But i want people to know it. realize it. For that, i choose the first and thus i did god an unlikely favor. Protecting him from a mass rebuttal due to sudden realization. my choice would make things slow, realization slow. humans will start to ponder, rather than blindly believe just as they do now.
If some God believers felt offended, go tell it to god. ask it to yourself first, the second example i gave. After questioning the self, if pain doesn’t form a rock in your mouth, and if pain doesn’t form wound in your heart, and if pain doesn’t form lava in your stomach, then you are living a life that really is a not a life.
i speaketh the world’s wailing truths,
i thinketh the world’s full of stark scarring realities,
i revolt the world’s ravenous lusts,
i jolt upright the world’s sleeping brutes,
i carry a message for the world’s worst habitants,
i parry the force that tries to usurp me by merging me into the world’s insane evolution,
i wield good around people who deserve it, warding off the world’s bloody hands,
i yield what i ought to, i sow what i ought to, at least i try finding truth among the world’s masked face,
i hear what i think i have to, though the world is all mouth for crap,
i bear what i have to, if it is an insult i should bear and if it would help change the world’s continuous counter-blaming, i would,
i rise when i see the world rising higher, its not pride but fear, that this evil world will overpower the little tender good, i should reign even if i am mistaken to be a dictator,
i surmise, when time comes, i leave with naught but the pure harvest of the crops i grew, peace be the world’s and my family’s.
Shortly, i will write about this festival ‘Diwali’ or ‘Deepaavali’ celebrated by Indians. This festival is a mark of a win of GOOD over EVIL few milliena back. The two people the whole world needs to know about are – Kausalya puthra(son) Rama Chandra and Janaka puthrika(daughter) Janaki Sita. I will do all i can to put these two pious and true souls’ true characters into words here in further posts, but presently – it is the diyas ( or lantern or lights) celebration.
Jai Shri Ram.
But the thing to note is that i am an atheist which makes all my admiration towards these two souls, considered as GOD an GODDESS, even more intriguing. Quite rightly so, they are no God and Goddess for me but something more than that.