Time and What We Know As Life


Sometimes you encounter forces so great and abusive, far beyond what is human and explainable, that you are confused whether you have to accept your imminent defeat or if you have to put all doubts about the reality of comparative strengths, and fight against the perceived injustice, which, for all we know, seems to drag on till the end, the end of either hope, or of breath. Without you knowing, you become a coward by persisting to be brave. Without you realizing, the principles you lived-by form a death trap you are destined to step on. Without you feeling, you become empty of the very emotions that once defined everything for you. Just when you realize you are too tired and cannot fight, the force pushes you down an abyss that you believed cannot go any deeper than where you already are. You are overridden with rage, that even in the moments that you believe are your last ones, the force still expects you to put up a fight. The rage helps you recover some sanity, and strength, and fight a little longer before everything circles back to your waning hope and tiring soul. It is as if the force throws you down a very deep abyss and the only way out is that you, a human, must grow wings to get out of the darkness and gloom. All the poems you wrote about flying don’t really mean anything, unless of course you find someone who makes you believe that you are not actually falling, but flying. Well, that again brings everything to the great and abusive force that snatches your only light, and the whole things repeats till the end, the end of either hope, or breath.

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The Warmth Within (#Haiku #Photography)


We all find ourselves at the mercy of a chilly night or an empty street at one time or another during our lives with no companion to warm our shoulders that dropped at the prospect of having to face terrible hardships alone. None, not even the ones that we believed loved us the most, cared for us the most. We often look everywhere for our missing pen while we were holding it all along in our very own hands. At every phase of our life we have someone by our side who strengthens us. But there are also these periods when we are alone and left to fight on our own. But we know we can’t make it out alive unless we get help. And that is when you seek the help of your companion you have been overlooking. It is youIt is the hope within you.

go no far places

~ ~ ~

I wrote this haiku a long time back. While I was struggling with the block, I started mashing up photography and poetry to help myself out of the sluggish writer’s block. It kind of worked. To write words and tie them together seemed a mighty task. But slowly, with the help of photographs and some Photoshop skills, I started to get back on track to writing and blogging again. So now that the story behind posting this, drop your comments and share your thoughts about the haiku. Link back to your posts, I’d gladly read them. I can’t write good stuff if I don’t read good stuff!

 

April Haiku Month, Day 12: Koi Pond


HOW MERMAIDS CAME TO BE


a weary angel . . .

tired wings turn into  fins

dance in a koi pond

~ ~ ~

dance in a koi pond . . .

the koi rejoice her new form

mermaids are no myth

~ ~ ~

angels and mermaids . . .

we heard a legend or two

who knew they were true

~ ~ ~

This post is submitted at Haiku Heights for Day 12 prompt – Koi Pond. This post is also a part of my NaPoWriMo 2013 journey, my first.

April Haiku Month, Day 10: Incense


VAIN ENERGY


I have never really ventured into writing romance before. I did, but only as parts of a larger poem with a different theme. And now I try. Although I have to say, when I write, romance will never stand alone. It will have a touch(or more) of heartbreak, and more importantly, hope. Hope of impossible magnitude. 


an incensed candle . . .

her eyes rested upon mine

melodies we sang

~ ~ ~

melodies we sang . . .

as the sepia light dimmed

our own hearts grew warm

~ ~ ~

the wick is all spent . . .

so is my vain energy,

reliving memories

~ ~ ~

This post is submitted at Haiku Heights for Day 10 prompt – Incense. This post is also a part of my NaPoWriMo 2013 journey, my first. I am also trying to take up the A-to-Z Blogging challenge which requires bloggers to write a post everyday during all April. I will try to write separate posts for NaPoWriMo and A-to-Z Blogging Challenge IF possible. I sure want to.

I am going to share your everyday Haiku on my Facebook Page. Keep tabs on it too.

Thank you all for reading my haiku. I’ll be reading yours too, and I enjoy each one of your haiku. Your comments always help me improve and motivate myself to keep going.

Thank you and keep writing! 

Tweet me at @WeOweWomen.

Beauty, Glory, Joy, Pain & Fortitude – Haiku #55


~ ~ ~

(a woman sings)

I smile at beauty,

I pluck nature’s bounty,

my lush hair glorified.

~ ~ ~

(the flower sings)

the joy is all mine,

anything for your warm smile;

goodbye mother, love.

~ ~ ~

(the plant sings)

weak moment this, but

another you I shall raise,

more smiles she shall bring.

Image credits: Copyright All rights reserved by logncdunlap1

~ ~ ~
This post is submitted at Haiku Heights. The prompt is ‘fortitude’.
~ ~ ~

King, Dove, Friend And Peace – Haiku #33


.

.

~ ~ ~

Scene I

~ ~ ~

A Dove flying in some mysterious but beautiful place ( First Person – Dove )

~ ~ ~

O’ mother, thank you,

soothing plains, blissful green woods,

wonderful is world.

~ ~ ~

pristine, agile winds,

lift mine spirits to heavens,

wings hardly matter (for spirit).

~ ~ ~

angelic white, mine

plumage, how many hearts changed,

chose peace over battle?

~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~

Scene II

~ ~ ~

A cruel king came for hunting Stag ( First Person – King )

~ ~ ~

( Addresses the Stag )

mine aim wavers not,

arrow tip bellows thy end,

royal dish, thine flesh!

~ ~ ~

( Suddenly he sees the dove above )

~ ~ ~

elegant beauty,

she’s mine, on royal platter,

arrow aims high now,

~ ~ ~

( Addresses the Dove now )

~ ~ ~

O’ dove, thee is mine,

die proud as regal king’s food,

death be upon thee!

~ ~ ~

( He leaves the Stag and loosens the arrow at the dove and she is hit )

~ ~ ~

Ha Ha! King I am,

no being eludes arrows,

Dove slayer king, me.

~ ~ ~

Scene III – Act I

~ ~ ~

A man sees the dove being hit by the arrow and runs to the fallen bird ( First Person – Man )

~ ~ ~

O’ mine friend, tell who

hath brought this upon thee –

my sword rages in anger.

~ ~ ~

O’ mine friend, beauty,

leave this world not, breathe please, love,

god needn’t have you.

~ ~ ~

don’t shut eyes;

O’ blind god, why her;

love, love, friend!

~ ~ ~

The Dove speaks to the man  and at the same time,the cruel king reaches a point where he can hear her speak, he stops and listens ( First Person – Dove )

~ ~ ~

O’ kind friend of mine,

thy love for nature pleases

it is time i rest.

~ ~ ~

promise, little one,

that thy sword tastes no blood, to

avenge mine that spilled,

~ ~ ~

shed blood never, Friend,

keep peace, alive or dead; world

needs peace, give it and……………………………

~ ~ ~

( Dove breathes no more )

( King  comes out of the bushes, the friend of Dove speaks )

~ ~ ~

My King,  great hunter,

none can match your skills, no one

in your whole kingdom!

~ ~ ~

My King, what justice,

do you serve, your cruelty

is the crown you wear!

~ ~ ~

Hadst she not asked peace,

(i) shan’t think twice, i’l behead thee,

my foot on thy crown!

~ ~ ~

( The king speaks )

~ ~ ~

O’ grieving friend of  Dove,

i lay down my crown and sword,

i repent mine wrongs

~ ~ ~

O’ trustful friend of Dove,

ascend mine throne, give peace then

kingdom needs her, peace.

~ ~ ~

O’ true friend of Dove,

forgive ,  i will show myself

to no eyes again.

~ ~ ~

( The king goes into the wilderness in repentance and to keep the kingdom running, Dove’s friend ascends the throne.

He speaks : )

~ ~ ~

every battle now,

that we shall be part, be for

peace, not blood or pride .

~ ~ ~

every battalion,

shall bear white flag, symbol peace,

remembering dove.

~ ~ ~


Tweet me at @sankarajayanth

I don’t know why, when i saw the prompt the first thing to come to mind was “alive or dead, peace.”.
maybe due the ever eluding peace, for which runs a daily quest for me and that my tired mind and soul longs for a piece of it.
And peace = dove, as many things i relate to nature. And i thought of presenting it this way.

And later when i was half way through, i remembered a childhood story : hunter kills a pigeon but the pigeon’s wife gives shelter to hunter,
to satisfy and do justice to the dharma of comforting the guests, she jumps into flames to become the food for the guest.
My story, i think, was almost the same. So, i thank that childhood story and whoever wrote it.


Suggestions and corrections are most welcome, I’m still learning Haiku.

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being ‘alive’.


Arms Of Forgiveness – Haiku #20


you are in for a long set of haiku ( abberated ones ), have patience if you can manage. 🙂

.

.

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, is written

mine exile,  hidden

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, a thriving man,

who hurt thee in past

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, a broken man,

who hurt thee, never

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, thine virtue 

hath me breathing hard, why blind,

what sin i doth thus?

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, thine virtue,

forgiveness, hadst me exiled,

someone else got closer.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, speak ‘least now,

i question not in arrogance,

what sin i doth thus?

~ ~ ~

if to -try to ebb

thine pains served by life- is to

sin, then i did sin.

~ ~ ~

if to -hide my name,

in humility- is to

sin, then i did sin.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, what hadst i

done, that hath me pushed into

this vile emptiness.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in angst, i,

ask thee to see, difference,

in love and true love.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, is written

mine exile,  hidden.

~ ~ ~

archaic (old English) words :

hath = has

hast = have

hadst = had

thy / thine = your

thou / thee = you

doth = do / does

~ ~ ~

i started writing it as a haiku,

but the inner feelings caught me in a grip and dictated me to write this, even if there were abberations from the rules of haiku

~ ~ ~

one thing i want to tell not in haiku :

forgiveness is a great virtue,

a very great one indeed,

but in excess of it,

shall, many a time,

sinners thrive,

while all along, good ones get the woeful plate of plight.

how strange.

how harsh.

how forgiving ( yes, sarcastic in deed ).

~ ~ ~

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being “forgive”.

Hurt Her Not – Haiku #18


forgive : i feel it is a tough word in general and a tough word for a haiku too.

so here’s my try :

” thou hast my lady,

hurt her not, forgive she may,

as lost love, i won’t “

~ ~ ~

i donno if people can get what i tried to tell, i would just say that this haiku’s fictional context is

” my love is with an other man, her only man (she never was mine, in fact), but i still love her, for eternity.

and i warn ( not in grudge, but in a concerned urge, for my lady) him, as she chose him, above me,

i warn him not to disappoint her or hurt her because i wouldn’t if i was him.

O’ love,

lost love.”

~ ~ ~

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being “forgive”.

When You Win And You Know You Don’t Deserve It


My name was announced and I walked to the center of the floor with a hundred eyes staring at me. The mini-project my teammate and I did, won the best project award at a Project Expo held by our college to inspire the juniors. Quite an undeserving win if you ask me.

I was never satisfied with what I had done regarding the project. I simply learned how the circuit works, I hardly put in any effort in making it work. It was my teammate who did all the work. I was never proud of my contribution, which is almost zero, but nevertheless I do not feel as much guilt for not contributing because I have no proper practical knowledge of electronics even though I studied subjects falling under the same domain for 3 years.

I was guilty for another reason though. Guilty of winning when I did not deserve to. But I just walked to the center of the floor, accepted the certificate and appreciation from the lecturers.

Even with my teammate doing all the main work, we both did not do one thing – the coding part of our project. We got the stuff from the internet and made our project work. We skipped learning a major part of our project. Making us both a bit undeserving of the win. Especially me. (This is my P.O.V. My teammate on the hand does deserve a lot of credit)

I felt sick inside, but there was a wide smile on my face. I kept smiling all through this walking and receiving the appreciation and photographs, while what actually my mind was doing was it tormenting itself thinking about that someone who does deserve all the appreciation, who indeed had all knowledge and idea about the project he/she did, unlike me. How I robbed them off a little joy, a little reward for their hard work. How I, after robbing a worthy one of an opportunity to be happy, don’t even justify the concept of ‘winning’ – that is to enjoy it and find happiness in it. I manage to screw up everything. I rob them and I don’t find a reason to be happy about the loot. Its like I exist only to rob other’s of their little joys, little opportunities at being happy, little rewards that compliment their tiring hard work.

There is nothing that makes me as sick as winning something when I don’t deserve it. And I cannot even properly express it, because I must bear the guilt that is forced onto me. I never even hoped to win that, nor did I want it. And yet, I get it. Along with a big load of guilt and self pity, the add-ons not necessarily part of the package for all the undeserving winners(who don’t dig deep into their conscience).

Anyway, they gave us both a monetary reward. I had no second thoughts about how we shared that money, at least that would give me an opportunity to breathe a little free under the burden of guilt however cheap it may seem. Yeah, cheap. Really, what other word would I use when I am trying to compensate the guilty of robbing a person off their opportunity to win something with mere money! Kind of sounds desperate, doesn’t it.

Well… I am.

P.S: If you notice, there is a pattern for ‘how people who deserve don’t win. how people who don’t deserve to win, do”. It happens more  than you recognize. What scares me about it is not the stat, its the minds.

——

She Sells Shells – Haiku #24


.

.

dreams big and hopes high,

she sells sea shells on seashore,

buy one, help her smile

~ ~ ~

a haiku inspired by the famous tongue twister “she sells sea shells on the sea shore”

can’t get it right once, not once 😀 :O

~ ~ ~

Suggestions and corrections are most welcome, I’m still learning Haiku. :)

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being ‘seashore’.

Silence Is Not Trivial


.

.

everyday i put others before me,
tiring, enduring, all in silence and always trying not to show the weariness on my face,

sometimes it is too much,
breaking point is reached, and i break,

you see me break and you loath me for not standing strong for you,
that hurts,

though in humility i live, i hoped you would understand my silence one notch more,
so that you give me enough time to get back to the routine- everyday i put others before me, tiring, enduring, all in silence and always trying not to show the weariness on my face

– before judging me as too weak to stand for you,

silence doesn’t mean i don’t love. it means i love so much that i prefer to hurt myself being silent than hurt others by talking.
silence doesn’t mean i am not happy. it is my way of saying “i am happy for you. and i indeed am smiling. more on the inside.”
silence doesn’t mean i am not angry. it means i fight my anger in my own self.
silence doesn’t mean i am not in pain. i can wail and grieve over my wounds out loud, but i din’t choose it.
silence. it tells what many words can never ever explain.

i hoped you’d try to understand my silence one more notch.

~ ~ ~

yes, silence sometimes hurts.

but counting the number of times it takes the hurt unto itself, i think you could ease the rope around my neck.

and it hurts to know that my silence hurts you,

but i always am silent for a wiser reason. because i put others before myself.

just when i see myself grow wise, noticeably,

situations close in on, pushing me into ‘regret’.

wish i stayed less wise.

i do not know if i would say that tomorrow, but right now, i really wish i was less wise and more fool.

~ ~ ~

Silence is my language and will always be.

I don’t have the strength to talk and say things. So, i, for you, wish some freak accident befalls me and changes me into that,
Into what ever you wanted me to be.

~ ~ ~

A part of one’s wisdom lies in understanding the silence.
There are always silent “hellos” and silent “goodbyes”.

A new born baby wont understand our blah blah, smile at him and he knows we are saying “hello”.
A friend blinks, empty eyes, sober face and then turns away. It tells you he/she has to leave though she doesn’t want to.

If one cannot decipher these, we would always end up misjudging the other one.

And there is so much of true and pure love in these little, silent moments,
where tears, smiles, empty eyes, all in silence, speak of love. true and pure.

~ ~ ~

I am a teenager.
People have a basic image of an average teenager.
I am not even close to it.
The time i spend in silence itself shows why.

~ ~ ~

why would someone so young rut so much over something that is so ‘trivial’ for the world.
don’t make me feel worse by saying, “because he is insane”.

~ ~ ~

One thing i can tell, everywhere in this post where ever i used an ‘i’, there could easily be a ‘you’ there.
because everyone experiences time where they cannot speak because of the multitude of high emotions running inside,
but it happens more often with me.
and i can hardly help myself.

~ ~ ~

Life And Wheels Moved On – Haiku #45


This post is submitted at Haiku Heights. The prompt is ‘mask’.

.

you see me not love (dear);
help comes; heals wounds; i wear mask
named humility.

~ ~ ~

far away you went;
still wondering who it was;
life and wheels moved on.

~ ~ ~

distance grew much now;
same humility hinders;
from seeking your love.

~ ~ ~

love is not to ask;
but to give away; like blood,
from mother to child.

~ ~ ~

hope filled eyes; i wait;
will your ever see through the mask;
forces act against.

~ ~ ~
( The below is the text from which i framed the haiku. I couldn’t put in everything in Haiku. So, read on if you like to. It’s long though, don’t say i din’t warn you. )

while he dared, i cared.

expressing all is never always right,
it only takes boldness.

to hold back expressions take a lot more,
of love, faith and hope;
in truth, it takes a herculean boldness, more than what it takes to express,
but none sees it, just because there was an absence of my expression,

so, if boldness weighs more than love, care, faith and hope,
then yes, i was a loser right from the first moment,
the moment when i chose to hold back,
knowing too well what it takes and what it gives me.

one day hardly goes by,
with this question not torturing my mind,
“don’t you see this yet?”,
yet and again, i hold back from asking this loud.

why, ask me “why?”,
i might just yet stay mum, for the answer i have for you will stump you.
so, instead i choose to see you hurt because of my silence, than because of my answer,
i choose to see you hurt less while i still have the option.

but as no question should go unanswered,
i would give you these words,

“let your heart be honest with your eyes and with itself”

now go,
the journey is yours to travel,
the answers are your to unravel.

the journey would still end at where i am,
the answers still leave a part of the question untouched,
“why did you stay silent when you had so much love?”,

that, my love, shall be answered after you complete the journey,
the reason for making you search for the answer yourself is to prepare you,
for the eventual leash of my held back love.

a little apprehension lingers deep down though,
time is a thin thread, that i am playing by,
i fear i might not radiate and transfer enough reason into you so that you don’t give up on the journey that i put you to,
i fear, time might crop doubts in your head,
and if you submit to them, you would be convinced that i was a fool,
and you would distance yourself from me.

but doesn’t truth always win, as told by the meandering bards,
that’s one gamble i took.

now we go to where this started,
what it took to take this gamble, that might leave me with nothing if it went wrong.

my love,

expressing all is never always right,
it only takes boldness.

to hold back expressions take a lot more,
of love, faith and hope;
in truth, it takes a herculean boldness, more than what it takes to express.

Oh wait,
didn’t i tell you that i would go along with you through the journey, masked in a cloak of invisibility?
oh sure i din’t, because the quest for truth is one you should not skip,
though i knew it would impress you if i told i was coming along,
and it would raise my stature up a notch at your heart,
but i choose to hide my presence and lose a chance to have you love me.
but this journey is not about me, this is about you,
and that along with my enormous care is reason enough for me to wear the cloak of invisibility, in humility,
and walk along.

Oh darn!
while he dared, i cared.

that’s all i need you to see.
that’s all i need you to learn.

~ ~ ~

I Miss You More Than My Eyes Show…


i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
because it is for a good reason that they act so,
nevertheless, good is being done with me watching from a distance, staying low.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
i am one secret admirer you have now,
i will stay so forever, if the acceptance doesn’t grow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
seeds of love i sow,
how and when they get the rain and sunlight is left to nature, to whom i bow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
will watch over you like a pure entity, like a rainbow,
for you shall admire me at least as so.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
i don’t measure distance in feet or words or hugs, but in how much i comprehend what your eyes show,
jacket on or not, new or ragged, there will always be winter’s snow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
respect is what my eyes show,
for you can still share it all, the pain, telling me what transpired in life – what?when? and how?

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
i miss you more than you are allowed to know,
sometimes tears flow,
sometimes smiles bubble and blow,
and so all the time, my eyes glow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though.

To Get Close To Nature, You Just Need To…


To Get Close To Nature, You Just Need To…

To get close to nature,

You just need to breathe,

You just need to feel the air,

You just need to smell the earth,

You just need to embrace the warmth,

You just need to welcome the rain droplets,

And then, you just need to hold all of them together,

Like you would with your Love, Friend, Sister, Brother, Father and Mother,

Make the rain droplets your tears of grief and sympathy,

The warmth, your shield that can break any arrow,

The earth, your motivation to live and love,

The air, your teacher of truthfulness,

You just need to breathe yet,

Now where are you?

Close to nature.