Fate of A Desolate Love


He was elated when he realized that their hearts had a special connection. He was so happy that his heart was part of a resonance pair. A string will swing at its maximum when the two ends are held at a particular distance. And he was petrified out of terror, the terror of fate, when he found out that the distance that makes their connection the strongest was so large that it might break the connection altogether. What choice did he have but to walk away to that far place, because he felt that one moment of the strongest connection between them was worth everything than a lifelong bond that knows not its true extent or purpose. It is so easy to call him a fool, which he really is.

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The Warmth Within (#Haiku #Photography)


We all find ourselves at the mercy of a chilly night or an empty street at one time or another during our lives with no companion to warm our shoulders that dropped at the prospect of having to face terrible hardships alone. None, not even the ones that we believed loved us the most, cared for us the most. We often look everywhere for our missing pen while we were holding it all along in our very own hands. At every phase of our life we have someone by our side who strengthens us. But there are also these periods when we are alone and left to fight on our own. But we know we can’t make it out alive unless we get help. And that is when you seek the help of your companion you have been overlooking. It is youIt is the hope within you.

go no far places

~ ~ ~

I wrote this haiku a long time back. While I was struggling with the block, I started mashing up photography and poetry to help myself out of the sluggish writer’s block. It kind of worked. To write words and tie them together seemed a mighty task. But slowly, with the help of photographs and some Photoshop skills, I started to get back on track to writing and blogging again. So now that the story behind posting this, drop your comments and share your thoughts about the haiku. Link back to your posts, I’d gladly read them. I can’t write good stuff if I don’t read good stuff!

 

My Campaign Against Women Abuse


one print of these photos. . .

hundred xerox copies

campaign in college

~ ~ ~

I want people to look at the posters I am creating and I am thinking of pasting them all over the college. I have already done such a thing during the ‘Babri Masjid verdict’.

There are also a lot of posters already on the web and they need to be seen and understood. So I request you to share some of them on your blogs and social networks because this is high time, women are being subject to ridicule everyday all across the world. And in my country, India, this has gotten beyond insanity! People are coming out and protesting these atrocities against women and that is only a start. So please share or write your own mind on your blogs about these blasphemous incidents.

So here are the posters I did until now: SPEAK OUT. SPEAK LOUD.

April Haiku Month, Day 25: Volcano


an active volcano . . .

anger redder than lava

my bewildered eyes

~ ~ ~

I have been writing haiku about the same thing for the past few days. This haiku shows the state I have been in for quite sometime now. #War. #WomenAbuse. #ChildAbuse. #Murder. #Rape. It is not that these are new, it is just that I fail each time I do or say something that increases my hope for a better tomorrow for everyone. Any news I see is taking a toll on me and I’m  having a hard time trying to not be lost in the pain. That is part of a reason why I have discontinued my AtoZ journey.

we owe women

I know a little Photoshop and I felt I would do something about trying to bring the change(starting with awareness) that we all are so looking for. It will be a long long time before we see any change towards good. Its not much, but I guess its something. If I can pull myself up from the heap I become into each day after going over what all happened, I would surely continue making campaign images related to #womenabuse. If you believe that some kind of change, no matter how small, can be made out of such a campaign like changing the mindset of people towards women, then please share this image on your social networks and blogs. Share it and say something about the atrocities against women. Because people got used to ‘shared’ images on Facebook  they see what others shared and they share and that it all. It is not generating the voices that we need to tackle the current problem.

Make you voice heard, lend your voice to your heart and cry out loud.

The most recent news I came across is that a newborn was sold on Facebook for Rs. 8 lakhs. Outrageous and heart-killing! I mean, with everything that is going on with the rape incidents, now this! What is INDIA doing? More importantly, WHAT ARE WE BECOMING? I won’t hide my sadness.

April Haiku Month, Day 20: Rosemary


a five year old girl . . .

cheeks, innocent rosemary pink,

gets raped by neighbor

~ ~ ~

A 5 year old girl was raped in Delhi, India. I don’t have the strength to talk about the incident or the details but if it troubles you, here it is: A brutal and barbarous rape of a 5 year old. But I’d try to make sense nevertheless for I am, as always, not at peace.

The place where it happened is generally not important, because the abuse, assault, exploitation takes the precedence and rightly so. But ‘Delhi’ is the capital. and India is now ‘so much into’ these things that the place of incident is important next only to the victims themselves.
We, I, keep talking about faith and love for a nation all the time, think about it a lot. These are times when it is shaken. Rememeber what I said a few days back about boston bombing? i wantedly did not complete my opinion there, because i couldn’t take it as I was considering what it all meant. But now I see I held back for no reason. It is not only the ‘groups’ who believe in an ideal which are treat to the whole mankind, its f***ing every man in his own damn way!

I talk about faith, trust and love all the time. And these things stand to be important for every citizen of a country. Well, right now, all of that is shaken. It has never been ‘constant’ I must admit. I just tell myself, ‘maybe tomorrow’. But no, maybe I’d die being a fool who kept believing in change that never came.

click it for a better view, the text on the cards is blurred at this resolution.

With what people did after Nirbhaya incident, the protests and the calls for DEATH of the criminals, we have been seeing such things with little or no change in numbers. And consider the fact that all actual incidents of women exploitation don’t come to light, not get the media attention. Consider the suffering that we cannot see, that we cannot relate to because those stories are don’t come up.

India has always been a nation with great prospects for itself. Maybe we will end up only at that much, and never see a nation which changed itself into a true haven for humans. Of course, the world is no safe haven either. But with what India boasts about, we are a let down to ourselves. We are our own demise.

I don’t want people telling me not to lose hope, because you are not in my head and have not seen the world with my f***ing eyes. You only care when things happen.
“People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy” – I quote Batman again. If we are going to need ‘examples’ to make us think in the right way, at the current rate of our progress, the number of examples needed for men to change is equal to the total no. of women in this country, the newborns included.

King, Dove, Friend And Peace – Haiku #33


.

.

~ ~ ~

Scene I

~ ~ ~

A Dove flying in some mysterious but beautiful place ( First Person – Dove )

~ ~ ~

O’ mother, thank you,

soothing plains, blissful green woods,

wonderful is world.

~ ~ ~

pristine, agile winds,

lift mine spirits to heavens,

wings hardly matter (for spirit).

~ ~ ~

angelic white, mine

plumage, how many hearts changed,

chose peace over battle?

~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~

Scene II

~ ~ ~

A cruel king came for hunting Stag ( First Person – King )

~ ~ ~

( Addresses the Stag )

mine aim wavers not,

arrow tip bellows thy end,

royal dish, thine flesh!

~ ~ ~

( Suddenly he sees the dove above )

~ ~ ~

elegant beauty,

she’s mine, on royal platter,

arrow aims high now,

~ ~ ~

( Addresses the Dove now )

~ ~ ~

O’ dove, thee is mine,

die proud as regal king’s food,

death be upon thee!

~ ~ ~

( He leaves the Stag and loosens the arrow at the dove and she is hit )

~ ~ ~

Ha Ha! King I am,

no being eludes arrows,

Dove slayer king, me.

~ ~ ~

Scene III – Act I

~ ~ ~

A man sees the dove being hit by the arrow and runs to the fallen bird ( First Person – Man )

~ ~ ~

O’ mine friend, tell who

hath brought this upon thee –

my sword rages in anger.

~ ~ ~

O’ mine friend, beauty,

leave this world not, breathe please, love,

god needn’t have you.

~ ~ ~

don’t shut eyes;

O’ blind god, why her;

love, love, friend!

~ ~ ~

The Dove speaks to the man  and at the same time,the cruel king reaches a point where he can hear her speak, he stops and listens ( First Person – Dove )

~ ~ ~

O’ kind friend of mine,

thy love for nature pleases

it is time i rest.

~ ~ ~

promise, little one,

that thy sword tastes no blood, to

avenge mine that spilled,

~ ~ ~

shed blood never, Friend,

keep peace, alive or dead; world

needs peace, give it and……………………………

~ ~ ~

( Dove breathes no more )

( King  comes out of the bushes, the friend of Dove speaks )

~ ~ ~

My King,  great hunter,

none can match your skills, no one

in your whole kingdom!

~ ~ ~

My King, what justice,

do you serve, your cruelty

is the crown you wear!

~ ~ ~

Hadst she not asked peace,

(i) shan’t think twice, i’l behead thee,

my foot on thy crown!

~ ~ ~

( The king speaks )

~ ~ ~

O’ grieving friend of  Dove,

i lay down my crown and sword,

i repent mine wrongs

~ ~ ~

O’ trustful friend of Dove,

ascend mine throne, give peace then

kingdom needs her, peace.

~ ~ ~

O’ true friend of Dove,

forgive ,  i will show myself

to no eyes again.

~ ~ ~

( The king goes into the wilderness in repentance and to keep the kingdom running, Dove’s friend ascends the throne.

He speaks : )

~ ~ ~

every battle now,

that we shall be part, be for

peace, not blood or pride .

~ ~ ~

every battalion,

shall bear white flag, symbol peace,

remembering dove.

~ ~ ~


Tweet me at @sankarajayanth

I don’t know why, when i saw the prompt the first thing to come to mind was “alive or dead, peace.”.
maybe due the ever eluding peace, for which runs a daily quest for me and that my tired mind and soul longs for a piece of it.
And peace = dove, as many things i relate to nature. And i thought of presenting it this way.

And later when i was half way through, i remembered a childhood story : hunter kills a pigeon but the pigeon’s wife gives shelter to hunter,
to satisfy and do justice to the dharma of comforting the guests, she jumps into flames to become the food for the guest.
My story, i think, was almost the same. So, i thank that childhood story and whoever wrote it.


Suggestions and corrections are most welcome, I’m still learning Haiku.

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being ‘alive’.


Arms Of Forgiveness – Haiku #20


you are in for a long set of haiku ( abberated ones ), have patience if you can manage. 🙂

.

.

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, is written

mine exile,  hidden

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, a thriving man,

who hurt thee in past

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, a broken man,

who hurt thee, never

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, thine virtue 

hath me breathing hard, why blind,

what sin i doth thus?

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, thine virtue,

forgiveness, hadst me exiled,

someone else got closer.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, speak ‘least now,

i question not in arrogance,

what sin i doth thus?

~ ~ ~

if to -try to ebb

thine pains served by life- is to

sin, then i did sin.

~ ~ ~

if to -hide my name,

in humility- is to

sin, then i did sin.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, what hadst i

done, that hath me pushed into

this vile emptiness.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in angst, i,

ask thee to see, difference,

in love and true love.

~ ~ ~

O’ Love, in thy arms,

of forgiveness, is written

mine exile,  hidden.

~ ~ ~

archaic (old English) words :

hath = has

hast = have

hadst = had

thy / thine = your

thou / thee = you

doth = do / does

~ ~ ~

i started writing it as a haiku,

but the inner feelings caught me in a grip and dictated me to write this, even if there were abberations from the rules of haiku

~ ~ ~

one thing i want to tell not in haiku :

forgiveness is a great virtue,

a very great one indeed,

but in excess of it,

shall, many a time,

sinners thrive,

while all along, good ones get the woeful plate of plight.

how strange.

how harsh.

how forgiving ( yes, sarcastic in deed ).

~ ~ ~

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being “forgive”.

Hurt Her Not – Haiku #18


forgive : i feel it is a tough word in general and a tough word for a haiku too.

so here’s my try :

” thou hast my lady,

hurt her not, forgive she may,

as lost love, i won’t “

~ ~ ~

i donno if people can get what i tried to tell, i would just say that this haiku’s fictional context is

” my love is with an other man, her only man (she never was mine, in fact), but i still love her, for eternity.

and i warn ( not in grudge, but in a concerned urge, for my lady) him, as she chose him, above me,

i warn him not to disappoint her or hurt her because i wouldn’t if i was him.

O’ love,

lost love.”

~ ~ ~

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights. The prompt being “forgive”.

If Destiny Decides That I Be Alone (Poetry)


.

~ ~ ~


rush of emotions //
concern, love, care, anger, frustration //
too small a heart that is mine //
wants a shoulder to rest upon //
wants a hand to pat its back //
but all the emotions have made mine heart too hot //

click for high resolution image


that it is almost burning //
and everyone backed away //
forget hands patting my back //
i hardly hear anyone breathing close to me, distances as they are, grew //
and the one breath i hear is mine; one I hardly see any meaning in //
too harsh it would be, if i gave up //
too painful it is already, to carry on //


i said to myself,


” If destiny decides that I be alone, so be it. “


———

Tweet me at @sankarajayanth

———

Silence Is Not Trivial


.

.

everyday i put others before me,
tiring, enduring, all in silence and always trying not to show the weariness on my face,

sometimes it is too much,
breaking point is reached, and i break,

you see me break and you loath me for not standing strong for you,
that hurts,

though in humility i live, i hoped you would understand my silence one notch more,
so that you give me enough time to get back to the routine- everyday i put others before me, tiring, enduring, all in silence and always trying not to show the weariness on my face

– before judging me as too weak to stand for you,

silence doesn’t mean i don’t love. it means i love so much that i prefer to hurt myself being silent than hurt others by talking.
silence doesn’t mean i am not happy. it is my way of saying “i am happy for you. and i indeed am smiling. more on the inside.”
silence doesn’t mean i am not angry. it means i fight my anger in my own self.
silence doesn’t mean i am not in pain. i can wail and grieve over my wounds out loud, but i din’t choose it.
silence. it tells what many words can never ever explain.

i hoped you’d try to understand my silence one more notch.

~ ~ ~

yes, silence sometimes hurts.

but counting the number of times it takes the hurt unto itself, i think you could ease the rope around my neck.

and it hurts to know that my silence hurts you,

but i always am silent for a wiser reason. because i put others before myself.

just when i see myself grow wise, noticeably,

situations close in on, pushing me into ‘regret’.

wish i stayed less wise.

i do not know if i would say that tomorrow, but right now, i really wish i was less wise and more fool.

~ ~ ~

Silence is my language and will always be.

I don’t have the strength to talk and say things. So, i, for you, wish some freak accident befalls me and changes me into that,
Into what ever you wanted me to be.

~ ~ ~

A part of one’s wisdom lies in understanding the silence.
There are always silent “hellos” and silent “goodbyes”.

A new born baby wont understand our blah blah, smile at him and he knows we are saying “hello”.
A friend blinks, empty eyes, sober face and then turns away. It tells you he/she has to leave though she doesn’t want to.

If one cannot decipher these, we would always end up misjudging the other one.

And there is so much of true and pure love in these little, silent moments,
where tears, smiles, empty eyes, all in silence, speak of love. true and pure.

~ ~ ~

I am a teenager.
People have a basic image of an average teenager.
I am not even close to it.
The time i spend in silence itself shows why.

~ ~ ~

why would someone so young rut so much over something that is so ‘trivial’ for the world.
don’t make me feel worse by saying, “because he is insane”.

~ ~ ~

One thing i can tell, everywhere in this post where ever i used an ‘i’, there could easily be a ‘you’ there.
because everyone experiences time where they cannot speak because of the multitude of high emotions running inside,
but it happens more often with me.
and i can hardly help myself.

~ ~ ~

Life And Wheels Moved On – Haiku #45


This post is submitted at Haiku Heights. The prompt is ‘mask’.

.

you see me not love (dear);
help comes; heals wounds; i wear mask
named humility.

~ ~ ~

far away you went;
still wondering who it was;
life and wheels moved on.

~ ~ ~

distance grew much now;
same humility hinders;
from seeking your love.

~ ~ ~

love is not to ask;
but to give away; like blood,
from mother to child.

~ ~ ~

hope filled eyes; i wait;
will your ever see through the mask;
forces act against.

~ ~ ~
( The below is the text from which i framed the haiku. I couldn’t put in everything in Haiku. So, read on if you like to. It’s long though, don’t say i din’t warn you. )

while he dared, i cared.

expressing all is never always right,
it only takes boldness.

to hold back expressions take a lot more,
of love, faith and hope;
in truth, it takes a herculean boldness, more than what it takes to express,
but none sees it, just because there was an absence of my expression,

so, if boldness weighs more than love, care, faith and hope,
then yes, i was a loser right from the first moment,
the moment when i chose to hold back,
knowing too well what it takes and what it gives me.

one day hardly goes by,
with this question not torturing my mind,
“don’t you see this yet?”,
yet and again, i hold back from asking this loud.

why, ask me “why?”,
i might just yet stay mum, for the answer i have for you will stump you.
so, instead i choose to see you hurt because of my silence, than because of my answer,
i choose to see you hurt less while i still have the option.

but as no question should go unanswered,
i would give you these words,

“let your heart be honest with your eyes and with itself”

now go,
the journey is yours to travel,
the answers are your to unravel.

the journey would still end at where i am,
the answers still leave a part of the question untouched,
“why did you stay silent when you had so much love?”,

that, my love, shall be answered after you complete the journey,
the reason for making you search for the answer yourself is to prepare you,
for the eventual leash of my held back love.

a little apprehension lingers deep down though,
time is a thin thread, that i am playing by,
i fear i might not radiate and transfer enough reason into you so that you don’t give up on the journey that i put you to,
i fear, time might crop doubts in your head,
and if you submit to them, you would be convinced that i was a fool,
and you would distance yourself from me.

but doesn’t truth always win, as told by the meandering bards,
that’s one gamble i took.

now we go to where this started,
what it took to take this gamble, that might leave me with nothing if it went wrong.

my love,

expressing all is never always right,
it only takes boldness.

to hold back expressions take a lot more,
of love, faith and hope;
in truth, it takes a herculean boldness, more than what it takes to express.

Oh wait,
didn’t i tell you that i would go along with you through the journey, masked in a cloak of invisibility?
oh sure i din’t, because the quest for truth is one you should not skip,
though i knew it would impress you if i told i was coming along,
and it would raise my stature up a notch at your heart,
but i choose to hide my presence and lose a chance to have you love me.
but this journey is not about me, this is about you,
and that along with my enormous care is reason enough for me to wear the cloak of invisibility, in humility,
and walk along.

Oh darn!
while he dared, i cared.

that’s all i need you to see.
that’s all i need you to learn.

~ ~ ~

I Miss You More Than My Eyes Show…


i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
because it is for a good reason that they act so,
nevertheless, good is being done with me watching from a distance, staying low.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
i am one secret admirer you have now,
i will stay so forever, if the acceptance doesn’t grow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
seeds of love i sow,
how and when they get the rain and sunlight is left to nature, to whom i bow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
will watch over you like a pure entity, like a rainbow,
for you shall admire me at least as so.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
i don’t measure distance in feet or words or hugs, but in how much i comprehend what your eyes show,
jacket on or not, new or ragged, there will always be winter’s snow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
respect is what my eyes show,
for you can still share it all, the pain, telling me what transpired in life – what?when? and how?

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though,
i miss you more than you are allowed to know,
sometimes tears flow,
sometimes smiles bubble and blow,
and so all the time, my eyes glow.

i miss you more than my eyes show,
my eyes never lie though.